I write this to you at 7 o’clock in the morning, after hours of tossing and turning. I couldn’t sleep.
Yesterday, I met two kids who didn’t fail to move me, one 12-year-old boy and a girl aged 17. Both experience psychological abuse currently, first at home, and then in school.
This makes me suffer a lot. I wish I could go back and be with them, to give them the support, understanding, and love they need.
I don’t understand how can there be people who think that children have to be trained as if they were animals; they don’t realize that they play with lives, that children have brains and hearts, feelings and reasoning.
I am a great defender of animals; at home, we watch documentaries about them almost every day, it fascinates us. My son, who is 4 and a half years old, is passionate about the animal world.
I am surprised to see people who fervently defend the animals (including me) and who fight so that they are not mistreated, but then don’t apply the technique with their children and -or- students.
How’s it even possible? How can anyone think that a child is and will be happy, being boycotted psychologically and -or- physically, almost daily? Everything that we live in our childhood marks us and defines us for the rest of our life: the good and the bad.
Although you think that despite your parents’ insults, shouts, or punishment, you are very well and happy, there’s always something left. Some traces that remain are low self-esteem, submission, problems to relate to others, selfishness, anxiety, stress, little tolerance, zero empathy, ignorance, unable to understand full happiness, fears, traumas and, of course, not knowing how to raise your children correctly.
To overcome this means a lot of work for us. Just like a battered dog, that is afterward welcomed into a good and loving family, has difficulties in trusting humans again, for a child is exactly the same. With the difference that the kid, as a rule, cannot be welcomed by another family that gives him the love he needs.
The power is in you; the change is in you.
Show love to your children, it’s the only thing that matters.
To raise is NOT to train. We don’t have to “mark” at each step what our children have to do. We don’t have to reward them when they do something right (in your opinion) as if it were the little piece of food we give to our dog when it brings us the ball. We don’t have to send them alone to their rooms to reflect, like the puppy that has peed inside the house, and is sent to his bed as punishment.
Children are not pets: they are children. Many of the things that families do to their children, they would never do with their dogs or pets. So, who is the one trained in this case?
Never forget this:
If it’s inconceivable to hit a dog, it’s also impossible to do it to your child.
If it’s wrong to shout, shake, insult an animal, it’s also wrong with your child.
If you understand that your pet needs play to be happy and feel fulfilled, it’s the same with your child.
If you wouldn’t abandon your dog, don’t forsake your child emotionally.
As a reflection, I copy some phrases I’ve taken from an article on how to treat our dogs:
“All dogs are living beings that deserve respect.”
“DO NOT scold your dog when you get home and see a mischief, that happened a while ago and the dog doesn’t know why you are challenging him.”
“Do not hit, shout, or mistreat your dog. He won’t respect you; it will only make him panic and feel afraid just by smelling your presence.”
“DO NOT leave your dog alone in the house backyard; he must interact with all the members of his family herd. Let him in, let him sleep inside the house, and let him be a part of your family.”
I guess this speaks for itself. I hope it helps you to ask yourself if you are really raising your children as they deserve. If you think you aren’t and feel guilty, don’t worry, we all make mistakes. The important thing is to go forward, grow, reflect and improve, and you are in the right place to do it.
Please, share this article if it has helped you. Thank you very much,
Parent & Teacher Educator, Author, Expert in Respectful Education, and Founder of Edurespect School